Thursday, March 1, 2012


The Beebs is the BIG 1-8 today and Danica Patrick sucks.  He can actually vote for our next President.  I mean look at him.

Ironically it's Self-Injury Awareness Day here in the US and while the topic is serious, I can't but feel both of the people above should immediately cut themselves or at least let me throw a grenade into a room with both of them in it.

This leads me to my actual Thrashing for this week:  NASCAR

You know, the classic National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing founded in 1947-48.  In the 1990s I grew up loving this sport down in Alpharetta, GA.  I was a Rainbow Warrior before finding out how homosexual that really sounds.  Gordon was a baller and from California.  He was the anti-Dale Earnhardt and I LOVED IT.  He dominated too.  It was awesome.  Than Dale Earnhardt died on the track in a seemingly normal crash.  It rocked the sport and frankly, it's never been the same since.  The sport reached its peak with the amount of drivers competing bumping up from the Busch (now Nationwide Series).  It's gotten so crazy I honestly don't recognize names anymore because there are so many.  Jimmie Johnson won like 10 championships in a row.  Was it dominance or was the quality of driver down that much?  Probably a little of both.  That pretty much ruined the sport for me.  Oh, and the fact they talk about Earnhardt, Jr. and DANICA FREAKIN PATRICK like they are top in the sport.  Last time I checked, Dale Jr. is arguably the most overrated person in sports (right next to you Andy Roddick, you scum bag).  Don't even get me started on the bimbo.  Is she a breath of fresh air?  Yeah.  Has she earned anything?  No.  She wasn't even successful on the Indy series or Nationwide last year.  I get the female in a male sport thing but let's face it, there have been other female drivers before.  What makes her different is her sex appeal.  Then of course the national media exploits it.  Stupid.

The old Winston Cup is gone since tobacco companies can't advertise anymore and it's the Sprint Cup.  There's a Chase now where the final 10 races feature 12 drivers trying to win it.  The only thing that really remains the same is what occurred this past Sunday, the Great American Race, the Daytona 500.  I never understood why the most important race occurred first in this sport (I'm considering it a sport because you actually do have to be in decent shape, physically and mentally, to do that kind of driving at that speed).  2012 was unique because of the weather delay and for the first time it was moved, twice, to finally running at 7pm this past Monday night on Fox.  Side note: this meant I could not watch Alcatraz, which is still grinding my gears, pun intended.  What happened next was insane.  If you haven't seen it, here's what happened:

Montoya couldn't steer and literally almost killed a guy meanwhile lighting the track on fire and causing nearly a 3 hour delay.  Before this even happened, Jimmie Johnson wrecked on the second lap causing Danica Patrick to go a million laps down thank goodness.  Then my man #24's engine blew up.  Then that video happened.  Then I guess Matt Kenseth won because Dale Jr can't draft.  He finished 2nd because he's good on that course but he's still winless in 129 races (Michigan in June 2008, heck I hadn't even graduated college yet).

This video sums up the legacy of Dale Earnhardt, Jr #88.  Also, it's funny because he's Boomer's favorite driver, talk about a bandwagon NASCAR fan.  Poser!

Sponsorship has steadily declined since 2000 and TV viewership, while decent, isn't what it was.  Actual attendance is way down and you can see that when you watch the races.  The movie Talladega Nights, while extremely silly, was an accurate portrayal to how modern America views the sport.  SHAKE AND BAKE! So now, the media hinges on Danica Patrick because she's the story people would tune in to watch for.  If she can ever get in the winner's circle, the sport would change.  For better or worse?  I'm not sure.  All I know is she got in my way!

Thank you South Park for epitomizing what NASCAR is through Eric Cartman: